MEET MEATHEAD. HE’S A BIT USELESS.
You move in real life. Meathead gets stronger, explores the world, discovers characters, fights ridiculous enemies and collects even more ridiculous things to put on his head.
You open the app because you want to know what happens next. Getting fitter is the by-product.
YOU DO THE WORK. HE GETS THE XP.
Meathead uses the activity you’re already doing. No calorie lectures. No weigh-ins. No telling you that you should have gone for a run.
WALKTRAVEL
RUNENDURANCE
LIFTMIGHT
CYCLEDISTANCE
MOVEXP
Basically, you do something useful and Meathead takes all the credit.
It’ll read the activity your phone already tracks — Apple Health, Health Connect. We read your data. You play the game.
NO FITNESS PLAN. DO WHAT YOU WANT.
There isn’t one list telling you what exercise comes next. You’ll have a bunch of challenges, side quests, discoveries and boss objectives live at the same time. Pick the ones you fancy. Ignore the ones you don’t.
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THE COUCH KINGBuild 20 Might11 / 20 MIGHT -
CARDIO CANYONTravel 15km12.3 / 15 KM -
LEG DAY FROM HELLComplete 2 strength activities1 / 2 DONE
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THE LONG WAY ROUNDWalk 25,000 steps16,040 / 25,000 STEPS
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MEAT HAT HUNTComplete any 3 activities2 / 3 DONE -
BRUTUS NEEDS HELPEarn 10 Might3 / 10 MIGHT -
???Hidden challengeKEEP MOVING
One walk, run or gym session can progress several things at once. The game adapts around how you move — not the other way round.
WHILE YOU WERE OUT…
You go for a walk. You come back. Meathead has been busy with it.
After real-world activity you open the app and immediately see everything your movement caused — the progress, the unlocks, and whatever Brutus wants now.
Concept screen. The real one will be louder.
- +3 TRAVEL
- +1 ENDURANCE
- CARDIO CANYON — 82%
- MEAT HAT HUNT COMPLETE!
BACON BONNET UNLOCKED- BRUTUS WANTS A WORD WITH YOU
- Oh God. What does he want now?
HE BECOMES WHAT YOU DO.
Lift a lot? Meathead develops one way. Run everywhere? He develops differently. Cycle? Expect stupid legs. Do a bit of everything? He becomes a glorious mess.
No body judgement. No before-and-after transformation. His appearance is a fun reflection of how you move.
THERE’S A WHOLE WORLD TO GET LOST IN.
Your movement opens the map, triggers events and gets Meathead into places he probably shouldn’t be.
Don’t run? Nobody cares. Walk. Lift. Cycle. Stretch. Walk the dog. Just move.
YES. THEY’RE CALLED MEAT HATS.
Why? Because normal hats are boring. Find them, win them from bosses, earn them through challenges and discover stupidly rare ones hidden around the world.
Yes, we know broccoli isn’t meat. It’s becoming a whole thing.
“I walked 6km for a digital piece of bacon.” — you, soon
BRING YOUR MATES. OR DON’T.
The whole game works solo. NPC companions fill your party, have their own strengths and come with deeply questionable personalities.
Huge, powerful, terrified of cardio.
Mentions their 5K PB constantly.
Appalled by everyone’s flexibility.
Prefers travelling alone. Joins you anyway.
Got actual friends? Fine. They can replace the NPCs later.
MEET THIS LAZY PRICK.
The Couch King has been sitting there doing bugger all for years. Unfortunately, he’s also in your way.
- JUST ONE MORE EPISODEputs your party to sleep
- DOOM SCROLLlose a turn
- CAN’T BE ARSEDignores your attack
Real-world activity gives you more options in battle. Then you get to knock the smug bastard off his sofa.
BECOME A FOUNDING MEATHEAD
WE’RE NOT GOING TO SPAM THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.
Here’s what we will do:
- ASK WHAT YOU THINKHelp shape Meat Hats, characters, challenges and the game itself.
- SHOW YOU WHAT WE’RE BUILDINGGet development updates and see Meathead evolve before everyone else.
- LET YOU PLAY FIRSTFounding Meatheads get first dibs when there’s something actually worth playing.
- REMEMBER YOU WERE HERE EARLYIf Meathead gets made, the people who helped us get there will get exclusive Founder stuff.
Supporting never buys influence over what gets built: the Fair Play Pledge. Want to argue about the game right now? The community board is open.